we are the children of God...

2009-07-28T21:13:00.001+08:00

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
The pain I'm knowing
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on,

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

2009-01-31T01:40:00.003+08:00

wha lao...suayest day of the month i think..wanted to eat spring chicken then you know what?coffeeshop catch fire..shit sia..

hmm..i think i can offically say that i did not leep a wink for 24 hours alr..shit man..yesterday reached home at 7 then listen to what mr lua says then go drink chicken essence cause he said what we must take tonic..then woke up at 1 then was very awake..then study physic till dunno what time still cannot sleep cause wasn't even sleepy at all..then morning father gave me a bot of chicken essence again then very wake..still can wake 2 movies continuously in the afternoon after school..bride wars is a nice show..really..to me it is really touching..then watched wedding game again..for the 3rd time..2 weeks watched third time...wah..tired..God gimme the tiredness to go to sleep..

2009-01-22T22:06:00.003+08:00

how much hatred is considered hate?
how much love is considered lovely?
how much joy is considered joyful?
how much happiness is considered happy?
how much wisdom is considered clever?
how much pain is considered painful?
how much stress is considered stressful?
how much more must we endure before the world ends...

2009-01-13T23:07:00.002+08:00

Lord..You are great, You are awesome..nothing else and no one can be compared with You.i thank You so much Lord.must really start from the starting of the year.i thank God that for this year..wah..tough year ahead.but He gave me this strength to want to strive.i was telling one of my friends that i was also surprised by myself that i am working very hard from the very first day of school till now..and Ruwa..thank God that i got this chance to participate in serving Him in His ministry..though i was sick the day before if i never remember wrongly..He was the one who gave me strength.For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.haha..yea..though that day went home quite late..but the very next day i did not sleep in class to my surprise.and oh ya..i did not sleep mostly in class this year till now..only during period intervals..haha..but He really gave me strength..then erm..ya..i want to thank God that teachers are all very good to me..really good to me..especially my maths teacher..she sacrificed her break time for my friends and me to teach us patiently..and huihui jie also got me a math tuition teacher..Thank God for that.she really has patience with me..then yea..few days before..went to some of the polytechnics open house..after knowing more about the courses and the cut off point for each and every subject that i want to study and asking opinions from my brothers and sisters around me, God just motivates me to want to strive harder in my studies..and recently i bonded more with my class..and i must really say..i am starting to love this class,4E3 very much..i think that this class is really nice..bonded more with a few of them and even when to science centre the week before with quite a number of them..haha.. and went to swensen's with leong, bell, jack and i must say that they really made a mockery out of themselves..not in a very bad way..just that maybe they made people not being able to eat in PEACE..haha..oh ya..i am being appointed with the role of a treasurer..haha..important role.big responsibility..it's really God's plan lah..i mean that teacher will normally consider quite some time before they choose a treasurer as it involves money..but my form teacher just wrote my name down when i told her about it.this really shows how she trusted me..haha..and it's all because of God..oh..and yesterday..was the release of O levels results..don't know why but i was not worried with my results at all..not that i am proud or what but my whole mind was just thinking about jie's results..thinking about how she will fare and stuffs like this..actually i did not really think that i will fare well..i kept thinking that i will not reach the criteria for me to continue taking higher chinese..but in the end..thank God that instead of not passing, i passed and also got an A1...i am eligible to continue higher chinese..thank God that leong, joyce and the others mostly got an A1..God sees it and He is blessing us with these results..God is great..and ya..actually after taking my results yesterday..i was not feeling very happy after knowing some news..really felt sad and being emo..but i thank God that this broher, the 4th dagege in my life kept talking to me, encouraging me..and trying hard to make me feel better..and of course HER..haha..but i really thank God for this brother lah..thanks brother!though i don't think you will come to my blog and see but you are really a nice beother that i know..and most important is God.cause without Him placing them in my life..i don't know how my life will be..and thank God that i am becoming cleverer..hahahahahaha..God is good.. and all the time!

2008-12-28T00:55:00.002+08:00

haha..Merry Christmas to every one!!haha..today though things not smooth..BUT i am letting it go now..cause i am HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!!very HAPPY!though really jealous abt it but i am still happy..those who know will understand what i mean. those who dunno..just really really really be happy for me..i am really on cloud nine..haha..and for those whom i give the special presents de..got code de ok..go see the person's envelope for the card..you will understand what i mean..haha..i do things with preparation de ok..haha..everything comes with a purpose..and really learn something from joi again today..ya..what others think may not be what you think..it's just some simple logic..but it really hit me very hard..especially when the person is someone that you really look to..how he disappointed you with just a few words that maybe he is just joking about..BUT i dun really care..cause i am too happy to be pissed..and i will always love the big family..if you know who i am referring to..haha..i wont be pissed by them de(:

~feeling loved by HER

2008-12-22T16:43:00.002+08:00

did not post for quite a long time le..haha..going to finish saying how God is great all the time..let me start with the wedding of keith ge and jasmyn jie ba..was assigned by keith ge to sort of be the soundcrew of the day?haha..if you know me well..i am really stressed that day..how?kept thinking of how keith ge is going to screw me up if anything went wrong..that day finally came..ya..something went wrong..BUT..once again..God is good..the fading in and fading out of the track was great..together with the performance of the groom-keith..haha..really great..thank God for that..then next event was the deco of the church..though it looked like only tinsels were added..but it took wendy and me 2 days to finish up everthing..but was really good cause asked the boys to come down to help..they were really great help..God blessed us with them?ya..or else we would take more days?they helped us a lot..and of course with the help of God AGAIN!then next was the bodynits christmas event..hmm..firstly was late for the event but hui2 jie still gave me the chance to 'run' the show..of being the soundman in charge..haha..some small hiccups but everything went smooth..after the event sort of interacted with the sound personnel there..hmm..not sure that i had what faith but God just gave me the courage to talk to him and invited him to the event on the 27th..haha..God is great ONCE AGAIN!then after that went to the overnight event at church..did not really wanted to participate at first..got the feeling of slipping out of the event but did not..and i thank God that i did not cause the event was really fun..had bonding with gugu and others..jia jun's friend and alot more..and went to visit marina barrage..it is really a nice place..maybe going there to countdown for christmas..haha..it is really a nicce place..haha..the event was very meaningful..with every station showing how great Jesus is..then at night went to airport cause shilong ge is back!haha..if i were the old weicong then..maybe i would have just walked off immediately..but i did not..after seeing i am the odd one out..God is great AGAIN..He did not let me to be left out but instead i am so with them although i am the lightbulb!hahaha..God is COOL!and He let me not feel awkward with ONE of the couple..haha..this only shows how GREAT God is..hmm..then yesterday..at service..really could not make up my mind whether to give offering..but God let me gave up my everything..and in return..i felt so lifted up..i felt that my whole heart is lifted..and joy just went into my heart..then i bought a bag..haha..christmas presents..God is great..God is good..and these days..the brothers that i cherish very much are all very good to me..haha..adding a new good good good gege..now i got 3 gege 2 jiejie 1 ahyi/gugu..haha..God is good..giving me things that i want..and HER..ok lah..not mine yet..hahahaha..just that getting close with her more and more..but will still keep it a secret..shhhh....

~God and HER

2008-12-07T14:50:00.002+08:00

in church now..haiz..why?why?talking problems to people?hmm..not an easy job lah..haiz..nvm..from today onwards just tell everythign to God lah..and the old few them..haha..nvm..i am alwas happy(:

2008-11-30T03:18:00.002+08:00

cant sleep..and also afraid of not being ever to wake up..after hearing what zhenhua ge said at the prayer meeting yesterday..followed up with the recent news..knowing about the fact, the everything...and now that i am alone, i got this unexplainable fear haunting me..the fear of terrorism..the lack of security..the peace..true enough..the world is now so chaotic..in such a big mess..God is showing something..He is showing something to us..we must rise up for His Kingdom..God is awesome..He will definitely win the devils..i am not fearful in the name of Jesus..God is working..have not really blog for quite a long time..from coming back from china till now..been quite a while..many things happened..good and bad..but i praise the Lord for i lived through it anyway..this period of time is really not easy for me..especially having the fear of losing brothers and sisters around me..it seems to me that they are drifting apart from me, i am drifting apart from them..people whom i talk to is no longer there for me when i need them..people that i find joy in is no longer there..things changed..people whom i talk to in the past..my closest brothers and sisters are like strangers to me now..it seems that i can find no one to talk to, to cry to when i need help now..i am helpless..but God let me know that it is time to let me really understand that i need You more than words can say..more and more each day..it's when i am weak that You are strong..Lord..Healer..You heal me now..let the past be past..i am handing all my burdens into You..i am really tired..tired to do anything now..let me find rest in You Lord..You are my Shepherd..i shall not want..You will fill my cup..after going to the batam trip..we went to the children's home,'Bedesda'.it's a christian children's home..when i went into the place..the living condition is really bad..absolutely..seeing the children..how they even say such a warm 'thank you' upon giving them a paper crane makes me realise one thing..if it was to be a singapore kid..maybe they will just throw it away upon receiving it?we don't know how to cherish things..we take things for granted..after the singaporean hostage incident..it made me more firm that hey..we should cherish things around us..we are taking things too lightly..we are really taking things for granted..who can assure you that singapore is a safe country?without any attacks from terrorism does not means that there is no danger..the world is now in a mess..anything could happen..we must stand up ourselves..i must..God help us but not to a point that we dun even need to move..treasure people around us..who know's that maybe tomorrow will be the last day you see your friend after she leaves for mumbai like the singapore hostage?God..i just pray that You look after everyone of us in this world..You got Your plans just that we don't know about it..God work in Your way..let me also know how to treasure people around me.be it my family or brothers and sisters out there..let me not take things for granted too..let me know the importance of spreading your gospels before everything is too late..You reign You reign..shower Your love down this very minute onto everyone..and on the family of the hostages..God You love them..let them hear of Your good asap and to know that God You have a purpose in anything You do..Lord please also look after my serving..let me really stand firm in my ministeries in serving You Lord.i praise You for You are great..may my prayer go through the cloud and directly to Your House.i pray all these in Jesus precious name,Amen.

2008-10-29T07:44:00.002+08:00

hmm...guys..i miss you too...hahaa..think that there's alot of things for me to thank God about..really love my Father ao much..He really let me felt that there are alot of people around me..the brothers and sisters around me..haha..from the tags..haha..and i really feel prayers around me..hmm..was really talking to my roommate..yeah..at first both of us opposed to sleep with one another..but now we sort of become very good friends?haha..made a habit that i will make a prayer with him upon reaching every hotel..and was telling Him that i really felt that God has blessed us with the trip..seems like every room that we stayed is the best room..haha..then he also agreed..haha..reached hefei in the afternoon then went to the school for the exchange programme..hmm..was with this guy in the school..wah..he is really a obedient guy sia..very hardworking and etc...we kept talking throughout the interaction time..haha..good to know him..thank God..and also thank God for shuiting,huihuijie,xiaomei,joi..alot of them..cared for me..haha..i know you guys love me..hahaha...i also love you too!woohoo...got some info that sunmei jie lost her voice..God You just blessed her with voice..Your lovely voice from heaven..haha..God bless her..and shuiting..having her o'lvls..Lord You bless her..ya..the others Lord You just bless them according to what they need..thank God and in Jesus name i pray,Amen.

2008-10-26T22:20:00.000+08:00

hmm...in ningguo now..hmm...feeling sort of sad now..i am like WHAT THE HELL IS THIS MANN?!?!people ignoring me..whatsoever..i mean like are these people hypocrites?that's crap..please lah..people here and there..sort of everyone?haiz..i dunno lah..hope that's is because they are stress themselves..nvm..can talk to me(:i am going to be a good counsellor!!!woohoo..GOD is good in this trip actually...hmm..remember that in the hotel got ppl are so afraid of ghost..lols..ok..i admit i am sort of scared..BUT i think God gave me the faith to believe in Him..i still sort of like chided my friend..i am must have faith in God lah..then i still like going to my friend's room and pray for them because they are scared..hahaha..i am gonna be the salt and light of God..i am going to shine in this trip..but i am really missing PEOPLE IN SINGAPORE!haiz the brothers and sisters..oh my..i miss church..VERY!ppl there..i called and msg them ytd..i almost cried..i am really missing them..esp the few of them..the few of them who came to send me off..the few of them whom i talked to..the few of them who goes out with me..the few of them...hiaz..missing them so much..people whom i love so much..HER!!!missing HER so much!!!wanted to buy things for the 2tings de..jackets..but now they having autumm sale..so is like buy le then they also cannot use..haha..still thinking what to get for friends but seems like difficult leh..nothing to buy..haiz..anywae..sort of got something for myself..a coat..something that i wanna get for a long time just that i think that it is sort of stupid to get..and too expensive to buy in singapore..so now bought one in china..lols..tried flying fox just now..so cool..the treetop walk..haha..daring rite..guts that i dun have in the past..as in singapore..haha..was really fun lah..but was sort of afraid at the same time..but i did it at last..so nothing to be fear off...only God..only fear Him..haha..nothing else to fear except Him..woohoo..i really thank God that these few days have been following "living life"..i thank God for that cause it really hold me close to Him..haha..oh..and i broke rules here..haah..sneak out to somewhere near when i cant..kana caught..haha..then got some stupid detention here...following teacher around..but in the end did not lah..haha..food here is really nice..got salty food in nanjing..sweet food in suzhou..then now spicy food in ningguo...haha..so fun to have all different types of food..hmm..dunno how to continue cause sort of eating some same food in china..lols..and also the surrounding lah..haha..getting colder and colder day by day..and ppl around me..really quite bad lah..adding on is i seeem to have caught a flu..haha..pls pray for me peeps..promised to go back in a piece..so i must..hahahahahahahaha..hmm..think nothing else le..anything just msg me peeps..i think should be normal cost lah..i really miss you guys..God bless everyone in the trip and everyone in singapore..i thank you Lord(:

~missing HER so badly..

2008-10-21T02:33:00.000+08:00

hmm...reached home about 1.5 hours ago..after 3 hours of non-stop tuition at hui2 jie's hse..first time so hardworking..hahaha..thank God for that..yesterday wasn't a really good day lah..dunno why that after hearing what my sis say..tears circled my eyes..really wished to cried out but managed to control my tears eventually..haiz..was thinking so much at that time..who can really understand my feeling?i feel so hopeless at that point of time..really hopeless..i wanted to find someone to talk about things but i feel that no one is there for me..ya..everyone will try to ask me to talk to God..i did..but i still need someone for me to talk to..just that no one seems to be there for me..sad..flying off in 2 days..been thinking alot..so hope that someone will be there to send me off..other than my parents..but ya..i know is just my wishful thinking..haha..kept thinking that i won't return from this trip..ya..maybe will..returning in a coffin or a urn..hahaha..i mean i dun really feel much abt dying now?after what has happened?i remembered saying that my dearest friends/"family" are sort of my engine for living..ok..God is the petrol there to keep it going but they are the engines to let it move..without any one of them and i sort of cannot carry on..ya..my engines are changed..thank God for that..but really felt that no one is really there for me when they are there..hahaha..hope to build my friendship and "familyship" with my brothers and sisters if i can return back to singapore safely..hahaha..if i die..i will definitely remember you guys..maybe asking God to love you guys more..hahahahhahahahaahaha..as if i can reach God...life seems meaningless to me every now and then..ya..i want to live a fruitful life..God in You..You are always good..haiz..but still got things to thank God abt..like yesterday..was really tired after toning night but i really very tired.i know i will definitely sleep during sermon..i really thank God cause i was telling Him that i want to praise Him with all my might and all i have..i really worship with an open heart yesterday..and right after the worship..i really felt refreshed..but whole sermon was more of waking people up..haha..my brother beside me keep dozing off..cannot stand it..agreed to cannot sleep during sermon then he still there nodding head..wha lao...lols..learnt alot yesterday in the sermon..ya..we must try to be the most perfect in God..then yesterday night this brother stayed in church till so late to sort of accompany me?despite being tired..haha..maybe not but it definitely is encouraging to me(:

~still loving and waiting to have a chance to talk to her

2008-10-14T15:55:00.000+08:00

got back from sch..hmm..got back all my test..really thank God..though some is not so good..but i dunno why i dun really feel sad this time round..i feel that maybe God wants to show me something..i mean i tried my best..haha..here are the results..only SA2..others not added yet..
English:failed(marks not given)
A.Maths:22.5/100(F9)
E.Maths:58.3/100(C5)
P.Biology:63/100(B4)
Combined Science:48.2/100(D7) -- but Project.I pull the marks up..so should be a pass..
-Chemistry:36.5/70
-Physics:31/70
Combined Humanities:58/100(C5)
-Social Studies:28/50
-History:30/50
Chinese:58.8/100(C5)

haha..not very good..but i just thank God for it..haha..ya..isn't a good pass for all the subjects..but i know i tried my best..like what a brother of mine said..as long as i tried my best..ya..pastor's wife once told me..passing is what we are supposed to obtain,the marks after the pass is to glorify God..ya..true..ok..maybe this time not too much marks to glorify God but still got glorify Him mah..hahaha..hmm..just really wish that i can promote to Sec4..this hols i will really chiong my Maths and Chinese..haha..quite happy lah..overall..though cannot get a pair of flags..but i think i am already contented with what God has given me..and most importantly is how He guided me with my relationships with my friends in school lah..like just now a friend cried..i can understand..i mean is just that i didn't show out..then classmates were all there to console her..then i am like 'see so many ppl cares abt you..then you....'forget what i say le..then who knows that she cried even worse..oh my..haha..but after that i am the one with my friend who are acting some funny stuff to make her laugh..haha..we succeeded..*claps*

hmm..was discussing this issue abt friends with clar just now..i dunno why but i feel this very dear friend beside me..we are drifting apart..so far..i really felt so sad..i feel that he/she will be close to me whenever help is needed but when he/she is fine..i seems to be translucent..between opaque and transparent..haiz..how we had good friendships in the past but now?i dun seem to talk to he/she anymore..only when needed..haiz..another friend of he/she seems to be difting away together with me..how?why did this even happen?i really felt very sad after all these..so being used to it?haiz..nothing seems to be able to change the fact now then we are not really die hard friends..hmm..and my conclusion is..
EVERYONE PLEASE CHERISH YOUR FRIENDS AROUND YOU..DON'T REGRET AFTER THEY LEAVE YOU!(red alert!)

oh..ok.this is specially requested from my xiaomei to post this..haha..a thank you message to her..hahaha..but speaking truthfully..deep down my heart..she is really good to me..encouraging me with messages..so nice of her..to be through the exams period with me..haha..a nice sister that i am having..haha..and this brother of mine..hmm..nice brother to have..taught me Physics but in the end..failed the subject..haiz..so bad of me to waste his time and did not pass the subject..sorry brother..but i will work hard for it!then hmm..kind of worried for another brother of mine..haha..enlisted in army...then heard that very not good things are happening..which i think is quite funny lah..hmm..but i got faith in him and Him..haha..so rite..conclusion is i got faith in this brother and God..God's protection is over us!!the happy family of mine!!!woohoo..

God is good all the time
He put a song of praise in this heart of mine
God is good all the time
Through the darkest night, His light will shine
God is good, God is good all the time

ya..God is good..always..through the darkest valley..He will always be there for us..He is good and great..not now..but all the time!

~missing her so much

2008-10-07T15:41:00.000+08:00

oh my..i can finally sign into hotmail and blogger using my own com again..God is great..and He is always..now and forever..i was really happy today!firstly i finally finished my EOY!God just helped me so much these days..without Him..i really dunno what i will become now..haha..and ya..today for prayer meeting..i lead worship..God is so good..He answered my prayer..He knew that i wished to sing for Him and He put me on stage..to worship Him with all that i can..was pretty nervous at first..during practice..but His grace just covered me..from choosing of the songs to the planning of people being musicians..all is being planned by Him..Him alone!!haha..firstly..the choosing of songs..i was stuck!i dunno how to link..but He linked it for me..then initially..when i was told to lead worship..i kept thinking of a full band..but last week..i just gave up the idea..thinking that it was a bit too over..but today..God is wonderful..at first only had a guitarist and pianist..then after that this bro of mine was emo-ing and asked me to ask another person or there isn't even a need for a guitarist..was sad...quite emo after that..cause i am only left with a pianist..but after that another brother came in to help as a guitarist..i mean i already thank God for that..it has already satisfy the need for a proper worship..so everything just went on..with His presence there..but i dunno why in the end..the emo-ing brother just came in to help and the initial guitarist became the drummer..i reall saw how God wanted us to give Him our very best..He knew that i wanted to worship Him with a full band..and He gave it to me after a big detour..with so much experience..haha..dun only think of worship Him with a simple worship..but a majestic one..a real proper one!haha..and at first i was joking that later everyone on stage then no one below(cause few people attends pm)..but i mean there are only the same old faces..but today..i felt that there are very invisible worshippers..which is the Holy Spirit..i dunno why..i feel so much for today's worship..i really feel that i am really giving Him praises like i have never done before..i really feel that the presence of God is there with us..everyone of us..and i really enjoy worship a lot..not because i am the one leading but because i feel the presence of the Lord and healing power is just flowing into the place...i really thank God..and not forgetting people that He placed into this team:jiayi, shuiting, linglingjie, zhenhuage and zeming(emo-kia)..must really say a big thank you to this brothers and sisters around me..they really made my day..especially one of the sisters that she is sick but still willing to serve Him and another sister..telling me that 'weicong,i decided to serve God' ..though she got something on..God sees it..the willingness of His people in serving..and this is the revival generation..haha..dunno why but quite believed that the revival of a church is by things like prayer meeting..willingness of people is also important..i think today's worship is so filled with God's presence because of the willingness of people serving..haha..clap for God!!!hmm..quite sad..listening ear leaving for army liao..no more ear already..sad but it's ok..haha..hope that today's worship with help(:
~"True worship is when the spirit, the immortal and invisible part of man, speaks to and meets with God, who is immortal and invisible." -William Barclay

i think that i still cant stop thinking of you..i really wish that maybe all these things did not even happen in the first place..

~love you forever...

2008-10-04T07:18:00.000+08:00

finished bio and a.maths paper today..haha..bio was great..i can really do it myself!woohoo!God is great!God is good!haha..i thought the paper was easy but all my friends all say difficult..lols..my a.maths really cmi..was staring so long at the paper..then whole mind total blank..dunno what to do..and then quite sad lah..cause after the test..realised that i know how to do-.- but i cant emo because of this paper..must still carry on with my physic and e.maths paper1...ya..hols must really chiong a.maths..realised how slack i am for a.maths..hahahaha..so must really do le..hmm..thanks for those who console me about the maths paper..haha..really thank God for them and most importantly Him!!!He is great and mighty!

i just want her to be happy..that's all i can wish for(:

~love you forever...

2008-10-01T06:40:00.000+08:00

finished my paper today..and all because of tml celebration,my teacher just start paper after paper without letting us stop..really pissed..but it's ok..need go church now..prayer meeting..haha..we come and blog asap after exams..

~love you forever...

2008-09-27T09:40:00.000+08:00

有一天你若真的失去勇气
有一天你若真的想放弃
有一天你若感觉没人爱你
有一天好像走到谷低
那一天你要振作你的心情
那一天你要珍惜你自己
那一天不要忘记有人爱你
那一天不要轻易说放弃
这个世界真有一位上帝
他爱你　他愿意帮助你
茫茫人海　虽然寂寞
他爱能温暖一切冷漠
这个世界真有一位上帝
他的双手渴望紧紧拥抱你
漫漫长夜　陪你走过
他爱你　伴你一生之久

this is a very nice song..like it so much..esp the lyrics..so meaning..God is always there for us no matter what..so nice(:

2008-09-26T13:37:00.000+08:00

I THINK I REALLY LOVE HER!!!!OH MY!!!I AM ON CLOUD NINE NOW!

2008-09-25T14:03:00.000+08:00

was a great day these days..especially yesterday..God is still the best no matter what happens!!woohoo..was studying in church with jie yesterday in church then this brother in Christ came to church to take somethings then saw jie and me and started talking to us..every word of him seemed to have a great impact in my life!God is really so good then He sent him to talk to us..then we started praying before studying..oh my..you should see how refreshed after the prayer and how i studied yesterday..really seems that God touched me with His wisdom mann..i memorised like 33 words altogether..goodness..God is working in me..and ya..it really makes me so excited yesterday..had a plan for my exciting oct le..first..i am going to start my drums lessons..finally..woohoo..then now...flag and piano too!WOW!How great is our God that He provides us with these good things!and oh ya..must thank jasmyn jie for letting me be her backup vocalist yesterday..so nice of her to help me make my long lasting dream come true though i did not sing in front of the congregation..hahaha..today cheryl,jasmine mah, jasmine tan and me had our bread day..everyone of us brought different bread to school..cheryl's was tuna..damm nice..mah was wholemeal with ham and tomato then tan was a toast..mine is the same old recipe,peanut butter bread-.- then afternoon was the English test..haha..should see how i chiong the papers..like dunno what..cause teacher i think siao le..anyhow give spelling..lols..first say embarrassment then repeated embarrassed..lols..but really..a prayer before everything is really a good start..should say that a prayer before anything means succeeded halfway through..i am really so happy today..then after school when running with jie at her house there then go eat..hahah..happy day!!!and i will continue these days forever..and oh..after waiting for so long..i got something to tell this irritating dream mentor of mine..lols,"Please gimme an answer!waited long enough!!!"
and..
I THINK I AM IN LOVE!OMT!!!WITH HER!!!

2008-09-20T07:43:00.000+08:00

i must really work hard now..i only get F9 for amaths..after calculation,i think i need to get at least a 70 marks for a-maths EOY before i can pass the subject!i must start now!

2008-09-18T13:50:00.000+08:00

wha lao..cannot control myself again but sleep when studying..siao liao..EOY coming still sleeping like a pig-.-going crazy liao lo..haha..something happy..God is so GREAT!i passed my English!omt..so happy..is like finally can..and my Bio..A2..going crazy le..till now only know got 2 Cs..which is english and emaths..others all Bs..amaths is failed..haiz..but still very happy..God is always here for me..had so much fun these few days in class..with my new found besties in class..all girls sadly..but nvm..was happy today..need not even move my mouth and someone was scolded..ya..let others see it and dun say it out ourselves..hahaahh too high liao.going crazy soon..must start mugging tml..really MUST..too slack le..haha..leading worship..woohoo!so happy..God is so great..love Him so much..hahahah..ok..nothing much le..haha.

2008-09-15T14:32:00.000+08:00

'no matter what happens..i will not leave You anymore'...i saw Your love for me..it warms my heart..getting You by my side seems to be the things that i will want from now on..till forever..i thank You for the things that You have helped me in..be it studies or others..You looked after me..and i am sure that You will still look after me in the future..hold me in the arms of Yours..i need the hug from You..You seems to be the only one who can satisfy my needs now..i will not let You leave me again..i love You..

God..i thank You for the day..though unpleasant but fruitful..let me begin from the first thing in the morning..12 am..went to beach with a few jie jies to celebrate mid autumn festival..it was great..playing things that i never really touched for a few years..thank God..next thing..really practice what i preach/promise..all praises to the Lord..reached church at 7..without being late..thank God..ok..service seems to be screwed up today..things like powerpoint slides to 'bombing' of monitor..everything(but my brother told me the spirit was there)..was really sad at first..really asking God..why?why?why?i knew that i wasnt good enough to be a soundman..BUT..stand up you fellow!it's time to continue the journey..ya..i am prepared..the biggest gift i got for today was really from You..i really love these 2 brothers like the relationship between david and jonathan(bible)..always there for me when i need help the most..i really look up to them as my siblings..my da ge ges..i was so consoled just now..how the both of you brothers cared about me.trying so hard to pick me up from my weaknesses..today has been the many many times that you guys are there for me.."once a brother,always a brother in my life"..i knew deep down from my heart that You placed them in my life to let me grow more to be like You..i will..definitely..hmm..had great fellowship time with chinese sinseh today..all praises are to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords..You are the only one worthy!went to the salon just now..the person that i wanted was not there..but still cut..beats getting a bald head again..ok..not a very wow hair like the previous one but still thank You..always so handsome in Your eyes no matter what the look is..hahaha..oh..on this one-time-one-year festival,need to do some memorable things..so went to some random blocks to scream,yell,confess...lols..and also..burning time!playing with sparklers just now..the type with sound..haha..i really give You my day..and the rest of the week..

reading so much from the bible yet i did not use it..all books in the bible tells that faith is really what we need for everything..healing,etc..but this is what i think i am really lacking..and confidence..in You..so i must now build this faith and confidence in You..in all aspects..sound..everything..i thank You for all so far and the blessed day!

2008-09-14T03:49:00.000+08:00

a week passed..a week nearer to EOY..feeling damm bad these past weeks..firstly..quarrelled with mother..but nevermind..dun wish to mention about it anymore..this week worse lah..say want go church study then in the end like only study a bit!OMT!how to pass exams like this?and reach my goal..waaaa..gonna study liao..must be firm in what i say..haiz..still could not get over what happened on tuesday..haiz..my friend's worship seems to be screwed up by me.for the SECOND time..haiz..it was supposed to be my D-Day..but it wasnt really afterall..keith ge they got confidence in me that i can do well..so now i sort of guide ppl in sound liao?lols..and the person is shuilin?!?!someone bigger than me..difficult to say somethings..haha..but trying my very very very best to overcome working with a person learning who is bigger than me..sounds damm wrong..is like a baby teaching you something?lols..haha..but yesterday was the worship practice..then i do..lols..after so long..touching the mixer again seems so different now..people are changing,system are changing only my heart is STILL not changing..haiz..sound seems so lonely to me now..haha..it will be lonely in the future..haha..but there are still things i am thankful to God about..i can differentiate more or less of different pitches of voice le..damm thank God sia..it helps so much in equalizing..still got alot more..but cannot list out..haha
anyway..no matter what happens..i will still love You forever..God You are still the best..the best of all!

2008-09-04T11:52:00.000+08:00

curently in church..haiz..bored..always like this?seems to be..the one being out..haha..but it's ok..will learn to accept these things in life..haha..ok..had bad days for the past days?bad?good?how to define?good in bad or bad in good?ok..maybe this is crap to you but i sort of experienced it myself?had some family problems but in return i read the bible WHOLEHEARTEDLY and worship for hours.and thank God for putting this brother's bible in church then upon reading,i saw a verse that is so helpful to me.thank God that He placed this brother's bible at the right place, right time.had been doing mooncakes for the past few days.scary..facing mooncakes almost everyday for hours and i think it will continue till the end of mid-autumn festival..haha..cool..eating and making mooncakes.but ya..PLC and JSC has been bothering me since yesterday..haiz..life is full of choices to make..i must make a decision myself..haha..never meet alot of ppl for very very long le..haiz..the RAINBOWS of my life?maybe yes but maybe not.but still happy lah..yesterday went for morning prayer..ok in fact is overnight de..lols.i think it really touches my heart lor..as in i really realise kinda lot of things.haha..today cannot wake up on time so never go..BUT..will try my very very best to wake up tml..must go and learn more of God..haha..

God..i bring myself into Your mighty hands..Lord You help me go through difficult periods in my life..let not the devils near me..let me know more of Your words and i will want more and more of You in my life,in my everything..i lay all this into the mighty hands of Your and You look after my life more and more..let me not be such a nuisance to others but a salt and light to others..listen to my prayer and i pray all these in Jesus most precious name,Amen

2008-08-23T14:50:00.000+08:00

As little children
We would dream of Christmas morn
Of all the gifts and toys
We knew we'd find
But we never realized
A baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives

We were the reason
That He gave His life
We were the reason
That He suffered and died
To a world that was lost
He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

As the years went by
We learned more about gifts
The giving of ourselves
And what that means
On a dark and cloudy day
A man hung crying in the rain
All because of love, all because of love

I've finally found the reason for living
It's in giving every part of my heart to Him
In all that I do every word that I say
I'll be giving my all just for Him, for Him

He is my reason to live

2008-08-22T14:09:00.000+08:00

hmm..ya..leaving seems to be the best choice now..wasnt having a great day today but still wanted to care about people around me and yet this is what i get back..nvm..maybe i am just into something that i should not be in..ya..but i still thank God for this sister that cares about me..talked to me..ya..on my journey back home..listening to some christian songs..the moment i closed my eyes.i see myself kneeling on the floor praying hard to God and crying..i was alone.all alone.in the darkness..without anyone.ya.i think this is what i am going through now?haha..anyway..though it wasnt a great day in sch with my head rolling off anytime my neck..i must still praise God for all these..i think i am now not so longing to have sisters and brothers around me.they dun seems to be my world anymore.thank God that i can really change this thinking which makes me make a decision so fast.not so indecisive anymore.haha..thank God..i have been wondering..i think that i am getting along with my classmates now..can see that the class is so much more bonded now..haha..a good sign..and ya..i seems to be part of the Home for Disabled cause i dunno why that i miraculously communicated very well with the people there..after going there.i think that hey actually it wasnt a bad thing to be disabled.when i saw them.though they are grown ups..but they are like kids..so innocent and so pure to things around them.God.i thank You for letting me go to the place.to be truthful..i think i found happiness there..haha..not a bad thing afterall(:

and this is to whom it may concern.you will know if i am talking to you.
sorry but i think that i still cannot take up this position or maybe i am not even suited to do things like this.haha..sorry sis..i think that i wont give it a try..haha..ya..so i wont be attending the meeting this sat..sorry..i dun even think that i have this kind of capability to do things like this.so ya.sorry once again..and to the new people.hey..do a great job and strive hard for a better Sunshine.you know what i mean.

God i pray that You look after the cell..use Your mighty hands to cover the cell.let Your spirit filled every members of the cell..let not the devils near anyone from the cell..let the cell grow..grow into something big and that it will glorify Your mighty name.Your precious blood overflows into their hearts.oh Lord..let the heavenly peace from You be filled into them.please look after the cell Lord.i pray all this in Jesus most Precious name,Amen

2008-08-19T15:21:00.000+08:00

'Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritually, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure;vthen peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.' ~James 3:13-18

i came to know of these verses through a brother's sharing.i was in the soundroom yesterday sharing some problems with him when he shared these verses with me..i dont know why went he read these verses..tears started filling my eyes..i was really touched by these verses..in verse 15,the word wisdom is being 'highlighted'..this brother's sharing with me about this "wisdom" word appearing in such a way really made me though of a lot of things..we as humans always wanted the wrong wisdom..the WRONG WISDOM..ya..wisdom is really something that God gave it to us and something that people cant take it away..we should the more treasure it right?it really made me think of a lot of things..relationships,friendships,a lot more..i think i had been putting in the wrong wisdom for such a long time..it's time for a change..a heavenly wisdom..which is really now my goal..something pure and peace-loving..that's what we guys should be wanting instead of the "wisdom" that we been having..ya..that's what i think of yesterday..and ya..God loves me so much..more than anything..so the more i shoudnt do things that displease God..i really want to feel the God presence again..to be someone worth the title of a christian..the high sensitivity to God..the one who will influence others in a good way that pleases God..ya..i can do it..God You forgive me of all my sins and i will be a new person in You..focus more on You as i think i had been focusing a lot on people around me..especially those who has great influence on me..ya..nonono..God is more important..was comforted by the brothers/sisters being there for me yesterday..thanks.and ya..a brother saw me drying my tears in the soundroom then he came in and gave me a hug..ok..that really touches me..it seems to be from God and it filled up the empty spaces in my heart for that very moment..thanks..was really happy yesterday lah..after letting out my feelings..and someone funny keep asking me to cheer up..lols..haha..then one sis is like you ok mah..you ok mah..haha..God is really good to send these people to me when i need help everytime..thanks You God!

was sunmei jie's birthday yesterday..so sorry to her..her birthday yet she still like cared so much for me when she could have fun outside with the others..ok..was an invited guest to her mini celebration in church..haha..and the cool part is..fancy her having two cakes both from emicakes..haha so nice..coincidence..haha..then after that was stoning in church till dance end..ok..played citadel in between..i won..haha..first time sia..anyhow play also win..want to buy a set of citadel now..haha..nice game..ok..after that went to suntec with a few of my friends..michelle, shuiting, etc...had a great time eating..haha.."EATING BEATS EVERYTHING"..a 'motto' shared by a lot of people i know..haha..and went to catch a movie..Journey to the Center of the Earth..ok.. a nice movie which i had already watched it once..so same old thing..slept halfway during the movie..a waste of money..after the show already quite late le..went to shuiting's house there got pasar malam..to buy food..haha..then went home..on the way talked a lot with michelle..haha..and also bought something for jie..michelle and me like siao in the bus..keep updating one another on the table tennis match..i think the person in front of us is on the verge of going crazy..haha..

today was a dumbo day..ok..something really funny happened..during Bio SPA lesson..Jasmine did something that no one will ever think of..cause we were supposed to boil some water in a beaker..but to pace up things..we always get some hot water from a big thermo flask..then we will place the beaker into a small plastic container then it will be easier for us to bring it back to our desk..then this funny friend of mind..dont know what she was thinking..put the whole thing on the tripod stand..then just light the bunsen burner and "boil" the water..ok..she did not notice it until someone told her..lols..wah..she really is the 3D..lols..then teacher like scold scold scold..lols..but was really funny..then after school walked to whitesands with clar and both of us had this craze over donuts and we decided to buy donuts..waste money..i must say that the donuts are quite nice..but not the best..haha..

it has been a month...

2008-08-12T13:12:00.000+08:00

today was a good day..ya..a REAL happy moment?ya..ok..it should started with yesterday..hui2 jie returned..2tings and me did some food for her..ya..then we played prank on her..ok..a very sad prank whereas i acted that i am very sad..crying by the beach..blah blah blah..i mean it is a prank by i really felt like crying..so much..though it was just acting..but i was really touched by how she was concerned about me..ok..then i dunno why..i think that ya..maybe should not be too close with the girls..and i am sort of sadden lah..dead for second time?ok..let's not talk about unhappy things..some happy things worth remembering..so today went to keith ge's hse in the morning for the collection thing..etc..still thought that i was late..then in the end..all still in bed..zzz..but i dun blame them..so late then sleep..lols..ok..but after i went then liyao arrived not long ago then everyone started chionging with a bit of slacking..dunno how to say..in between...i listened to the song 'ye he hua cao jin shang xin de ren' then i cried..kept thinking about being dead for the second time and ya..alot of things lah..but wasn't found out..thank God..ok..then went out and everything went smoothly..with jokes..etc in between...so ya..was sad lah..only when one of them asked 'weicong..who you like?'which i emo a bit lah..i admit that i still cannot forget her..ya..but other then that..everything was nice..actually need to stay in church to paste tins de..for flag days..but in the end..went out with those big brothers to buy some stuff..using excuses like oh..'weicong need to learn how to handle pa after the army guys leave'lols....haha..i like this kind of sessions..sort of guys talk?it was real good lah..looking forward to these kind of sessions..haha..ya..oh..i found out that i can carry HEAVY "things"..haha..firstly is zeming..secondly..keith..but if keith+zeming=die..haha..nothing to be proud of but i so weak..so is already a wow..hmm..inspired by them when they talked about sports?lols..so into sports now..sort of 'into'..oh ya..another good news..GOT A NEW TEACHER!francis..he told me he going to give me vocal training after i finished my drum lessons..hahahahahahahha..seem to be nearing my dreams!

2008-08-04T15:41:00.000+08:00

today woke up at 7.30 then prepared fruits for the fruitty weekend day 3..haiz..prepared 9 fruits in total..then is like already 8.50 le..damm late..then ya..ask mum to drive me to church..then she crap lah..go wake my father up then he take his own sweet time in the whole world like no one's business..is like ..I AM LATE WHY NEED TO WAKE HIM UP?ok..nvm..sort of pissed by him but cooled..then go church..everything's fine..ok..in between emoing then went to staircase to think about things.then ok le..then listen to the sermon..but like till the end..传道 was like.."我们在这位姐妹回天家前去探望她"..something liddat..is like wth lah..say till like what sia..but i wish to visit this auntie in my church..her motherly look has left a deep impression in my heart though i only see her one time..though she cannot really walk..but is like can see the passion she has for Christ..greater than some of us..but she went for operation then ya..hospitalized..God..You really help her Yourself in Your own wonderful ways..let her feel Your spiritual presence..and help her overcome the obstacle she has in mind..in Jesus most precious name i pray.Amen.ok..went out with shuiting,michelle,shuilin and jin hao..went suntec and shop around..was great.have quite a good time with them doing some window shopping and food...was quie a good bonding time lah..ya..and now..biggest dream is just in front of me..pray for me..i think is crucial..it is maybe the turning point of my life..and also thank God that i suggested something for cell outing and was taken into consideration..thank God that i felt that i am still being "noticed" as a human.

2008-08-03T15:37:00.000+08:00

today was a day that i think is better then others lah..this bit of better..ok when to buy fruits in the morning..cause now every weekend is the P.C. company fruitty weekend..ya..maybe i am doing all this to distract my own thinking?maybe.then cut alot of fruits at home then bring church..to share with the 2 tings..brought like 7 kinds of fruits there?ya..that's my lunch..then ok..i dunno why started getting pissed because my friend was late for worship prac..it was just a minor thing but i dunno why pissed..then ok..tried my best to cool down..but after that cannot find song sheets then pissed off again..then someone still joke with me.damm pissed lah..then words..blah blah blah..had good fellowship with those guys just now..then stay at ziting's hse then reached home at about 10..3 weeks had passed..but i know it clearly that i still cannot forget her..i cannot get her off my mind..how i wish that i never did that 3 weeks ago..maybe this wouldnt have happened..but what can i say now?nothing..haiz..i am really stressed by all these..ya laughed alot just now..but izzit from my heart?i dun think so..i really cannot be happy now..ya..i appeared to be but am i?i really wish to not go _ _ _ _ _ _ but i cannot..things are not going the way i want..i can say nothing now but can anyone please be my mentor to look after this useless piece of junk?

2008-08-01T15:53:00.000+08:00

commendation day just now in school as i think is like i really put my whole heart into NP just reached home..hmm..God..what is going on with my life?i looked forward to the CCAle cause going to be road marshals for the day.ok..i am really becoming a good actor day by day..today appeared to be happy but i am not..ok..for NP..which totally freak me out..asked a junior to do something and she has the cheek to tell me that "jian jun sir never ask me to do"..wth..so what if i dun have the rank as high as jian jun?i am still a senior to you..then after that..another junior like really freak ppl out also..why are the sec 2 cadets like this?anywae..then because of some matter..i just walked out of the school..ya..i think should be because that i am already having alot of problems..then ya..i really could not take it just now..anyway..sorry yu cheng..if you happen to see my post..then went to meet my 2 friends..maybe wont be so close after today..ok..then went to one of their house..ok..ya..some shocking news..ok..was freaked out that this kind of people exist in this world..dunno lah..then something happened lah..ok..once more.. i had this thought again that i am transparent again..ya..i prayed for one of my friend..ya..i know i am very thick skinned..i know i cant but i still do it..i am really useless..knowing that i could not but still do it..silly right?ya..i think i have been living like this for so long le..just continue living this way..i have been lying to my own life for so long..when people are in the valley..people just leave you to die..who can really be trusted in this world?the wonderful brother that i yearn for?a close buddy who stays with me when i need he/she?no one?ya..there is..but not for me..how i wish is me..but do i even have this position to talk about friends?i dun think so..i am just a useless piece of junk that everyone hated..it is useless..nothing can change the fact now that i am already dead..dead from all this..i think i no longer have feelings..i am insensitive to people's feelings now..ya..i am so emotional every now and then..i am dead..my heart is dead..i am dead to the world,the surrounding,studies,friends..pointless to have a billion of listening ears now..when i needed you guys the most..where were you?i dunno where you were but i knew clearly that is not in my sight..you will only see people coming to you when you are in an awful state..but not a single person around when you needed them the most..to solve problems for you..ok..maybe it is only to me..cause i am useless..i deserve this kind of treatment by people around me..i am just hopeless now..nothing can change the fact.and i must apologize to people that i hurt alot..sorry jies...especially to st jie..sorry..please understand me..you will come to know it one day.

2008-07-31T12:13:00.000+08:00

just finish reading my friend's blog...why is life so unfair when one side is living happily and another side not?why?a lot of why but there is no solutions..i hate it..for the past week, i think i was just a living skeleton..my heart seems to die and everything doesn't really concern me now..i have been dead from the 19th july and i think will be dead forever till my life is being lighted up again..i have been giving everything that kind of heck care attitude..to everything..studies,people,everything..i mean i know that these people doesn't earn this kind of fcuking attitude from me..but i dunno why i am just irritated at the slightest thing every now and then.i really think that i am now a very fcuking person who only deserve to just die off with no one's concern.it is really very difficult to put a big grin on my face when i am not happy at all..why?why izzit that i need to lead such a life as in to put on a smile when i am not even happy?i am disappointed with nothing now but myself.i hate myself to the core.i want God's presence..i really cannot feel Him..i feel that i am just a christian in vain.just a title of a christian but not having a christian life..i wish to talk to God.but i can't.i dunno why.seems like i have lost interest in everything around me.i am dead.ya i am not but my heart is..harden.but who really understand?no one..who will understand what i feel?maybe just telling me to chill,relax,or anything..forget the past?is it so easy?i really cannot do it..it is easier said that done..but who can help me?no one?not even a single person is of help to me now.i knew nothing now but to piss others off with my fcuking attitude.i flunk my studies..i cant do anything corectly..i want peace in you.and in _ _ _ _ _ _...i just look as if i am transparent..how i wish i can dun attend..i really hate it..i hate to go _ _ _ _ _ _..i dun want my life to be like this..ya..i wish that God can sent me a mentor to overlook my life..but who?no one?people that i have looked for?no..they arent caring about me so much?and i dunno how to talk to people that i am not close about my problems.but who understand?no one will ever..how i wish this mentor can appear in front of me..to lead me back into the path of God..but is it so easy to look for one?the answer is no..i know nothing but to piss people off..nothing else..i am really tired..not physically..but mentally and spiritually..i am really tired..i wish to think of nothing now..

2008-07-02T14:48:00.000+08:00

thank God for yesterday and today..hahaha..God is great and He is good all the time!woohoo.yesterday was quite ok lah..in school.hmm..did not sleep so much in class..so thank God.haha..not so sleepy..oh ya..and passed my a-maths refresher test..not very good..only 25/40..but will work harder..then after school went to e-hub with clar and renee..went to buy yogurt with them then zeming came and called me..something liddat lah..then loitered around e-hub for about 5 whole hours..then met sun mei jie then go num..to buy my sandals actually..but in the end bought a pair of flipflops..thanks to this person for choosing and paying in advance for me..lols..(cannot say out everything)..then was like..thank God lah..sun mei jie go meet me despite being quite tired..was really happy to have that pair of flipflops..i think will treasure till siao..so ex sia..haha..very happy lah..

then today..another best day..today seems to be a good day to EVERYONE!so hereby name today: 01/07/08, as the HAPPY DAY!haha..is like today got some hong kongers came our school for exchange programme..mr yap was chosen to demostrate how he conduct his lesson to the hk ppl..then he chose our class to be represented with him..had a wonderful physics lesson today..with laptops around..is like WOW.never once happened before..ok..was attached to two hk 'friends'..they are quite nice chaps..oh..they are guys..but when they are leaving the class..both of them specially gave the 4 of us(jonathan,jun wei,yeow teng and me)each 2 pairs of chopsticks..lols..air-flown one wor..was happy for this funny reason..because of 4 chopsticks..then jon gave me one pair hence..i had 3 pairs of chopsticks..then was english lesson..knew our results for english refresher test.9.5/25..failed and had to go to ICU..but this did not dampen my spirit for the day!thank God..oh..the last period was bioogy..got back my result for the refresher test..ms rathi and everyone was surprised including me..i was the top scorer for the paper in the class..48/50..unbelievable!i mean like when she was going through the questions for the refresher test..i was sleeping in class like a pig..so is like..thank God lah..in us nothing is possible..but in God everything is possible..haha..(not encouraging you to not study and sleep like i do)..haha..then ended school..hmm..went to cz for the e-star programme..and miracles happened..we are preparing for the obstcle race for the pupils but it suddenly rained..everyone panicked..then we started praying..and the rain just stopped suddenly..God is wonderful..He is a God who listens to prayer..so pray to Him..lols..today is counted as my first day attending the whole course..hahha..happy!then went mac to eat dinner with jie..break fast le..for the 40 days fast..did not eat breakfast and lunch..haha..all in all..had a good day today all thanks to my Almighty Father in heaven(:

2008-06-10T03:26:00.000+08:00

Once there were three trees on a hill in a woods. They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said "Someday I hope to be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems. I could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty."

Then the second tree said "Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world. Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull."

Finally the third tree said. "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me.."

After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees. When one came to the first tree he said, "This looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter." and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest.

At the second tree a woodsman said, "This looks like a strong tree, I should be able to sell it to the shipyard." The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.

When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of the woodsman said, "I don't need anything special from my tree so I'll take this one" and he cut it down.

When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for. The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end. The third tree was cut into large pieces and left alone in the dark.

The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams. Then one day, a man and women came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time.

Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and he stood and said "peace" and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the king of kings in it's boat.

Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.

The moral of this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, He will give you great gifts. Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined.

2008-06-05T03:05:00.000+08:00

hohoho..finally got the time to post..haha..after a period of eventful days!.woohoo...God i really love You mann...You gave me important people to make my day..You make people confide in me..You make me know how to counsel like i never done before!oh my..really thank God..let me start with my results..haha..wasn't very happy but must still thank God cause i failed only 3 subjects..though not very good but ya..i did not expect these results..i will work harder..for sure..praise to the Lord!

next is my work..omt..it was the first time i worked so happily despite all the shoutings..i believed God let me work not only for money but for being His salt and light!knew alot of friends there..they are all so fun..the boss and his family are also very good..they helped out despite they are more 'rank' then us..all of us worked as one..so happy..God did this!only He will..haha..

then the most excited one!haha..Praise the Lord...went for 'the quest' amazing race organised by nebo..was fun..had bonding with my friends..and also see the singapore attitude in alot of people..haha..was seriously fun lah..got good things happened and bad things too...hahaha...then at night went to sentosa to meet my dearest brother...haha..i very thick-skinned..maybe is God's given..hahaha...went to his friend's chalet but dunno anyone..hahaha..was fun lah..cause know his friends le mah..so also considered going my friend's chalet..hahahaha...then all of them very fun...thank God for giving me friends by my side..haha..at night went beach with one person..thank God for giving me this 'power' to know how to 'detect' people's feelings..ya..haha..then ask if ok nort..he cried..then he kept telling me that he never cried in front of others de..happy sia..found someone that will confide in me!woohoo..God is good all the time!then for the next few days had fun time..then went underwater world..haha..my last time there was like maybe 10 years ago?lols..fun..then also go dolphin lagoon..haha..had fun in this 2 places with this dear brother..haha..fun lor..is like we both so excited abt it..then look so lunatic inside the places..haha..though only know brother for maybe less than 3 weeks but we have grown very close with one another..really is God's plan lah..cause i think is very impossible to gain trust in a person that you know less than 3 weeks so fast de..haha..gonna bring him to church.wanted badly for brother to be saved..haha..to this brother of mine..
hey bro..be happy..and trust everything in the Lord..nothing is possible for him..so ya..jia yous and no more emo-ing!haahaha...laugh..
ok..now need go bath then go out to take my pay..woohoo..at last..then can meet friends again!!!Praise the Lord for nothing is impossible in Him!

Don't be anxious about anything, but everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.~Philippians 4:6-7

2008-05-16T07:42:00.000+08:00

today got back rest of my papers..not very good..but i think i improved for some..:
elementary mathematicsP1-36/60
elementary mathematicsP2-3.5/20
_______________
total:49/100

additional mathematics-24/80
_______________
total:30/100

history-24/50
social studies-28/50
_______________
total:52/100

biology-11+30+12
_______________
total:53/100

ya..that's all i got for the day..was kind of happy for my biology cause i like first time pass?ya..maybe..then my social studies also quite happy..got pass though never get very good..expect much more for that...but saddest is e.maths lah..failed by like 1 mark?ok lah..but did not really study..was sort of motivated by my a.maths teacher just now..so going to get assessments for maths for the holidays...going to get better grades than this time..if count only this SA marks,failed 4 subjects..but if add CA results..i think will fail like 5 subjects?hope not..but thank God..is like today after hearing all my results..i think that i finally put down everything..ya..nothing much to say le..just GIVE PRAISE TO THE LORD!!!

2008-05-15T07:33:00.000+08:00

haiz..got back my exams result..very sad..
here are the following i got for the day(results are only what i got for SA):
english P1-33/60
english P2-13.5/50
english P3-104/175
_______________
total:44/100

chinese P1-55.5/90
chinese P2-57/110
_______________
total:56/100

physics-38/70
chemistry-48/70
_______________
total:61/100

was EXTREMELY sad...fail english sia..is like my paper2 so pathetic lah..haiz..ok lah..then chinese was like so sad..scored so badly..when chinese was like the best of all subjects last time?haiz..ok lah..but got happy one..which is my combined science..cause i passed my physics test finally..lols...then also quite ok for chemistry..is like maybe one of the best in class?PRAISE TO THE LORD..although get poor results must also praise God..cause must praise Him no matter what happened..so ya..i know the best myself that i had worked hard for the MYE le..so ya..mrs chan asked me about my tenses for my composition just now..cause my tenses all mixed up and i got only 14/30..the title was "the most difficult period in my life"..so i go write..but things that are happening now i write present tenses then things happening in the past i write past tenses..so in the end my tenses all MIXED UP...ya..got nothing to say cause i sort of released all my frustration in the composition?ya..something liddat..so ya lor..no regrets lah..i knew that i had done the best i could..just gonna pray that God lead me through lah..that's what i can say lor...

went cavana to eat with renee and clar just now after school..talked about christian stuffs..told them that i kept thinking that God gonna come cause of all the disasters happening recently..ya lor..then in class talked to jacklyn and isabel about christian stuffs also..they are like keep asking me about why this why that..lols..they sound so curious about christians..haha..

2008-05-12T16:18:00.000+08:00

haiz..God..how could you have forsaken me?and my "dear" friends out there..God...i am really helpless..lets start from yesterday..ok..i was the soundman for yesterday's service..a friend(maybe i am a nothing to him/her) of mine said that he/she wanna talk to me..i was actually happy..cause i think that he/she is maybe the only one who can talk to the copycat/irritating person..but he/she did not talk to me..this seriously pissed me off..can you please stop making empty promises?and giving others false hope?ok..then reached church at 6.50..no one..so kept singing a song which touched me alot..it goes....
"hope my faith strong
let me not fall
Father carry me
when my walk is a crawl
lead me through the rocky terrain
help me get back
on my feet again
on my feet again"
ok..then after that was sort of cheered up..cause ton night for not being late..then very sleepy..then was ok de..but after that do PA stuffs...was praying to God that the whole thing will be so damm smooth..but things happened..
1.something wrong with the recording software
2.the pastor for the day gonna play guitar
then is like the PA in charge was so freak out when i added him what to do..sad..then after that heard that the pastor need use his own guitar..i was like OMT..God..what happened?!?!then ok le..when was setting up..this irritating person,was like kept changing my things..i am like ok fine..but please tell me..give me the least respect that a soundman for the day should have..but he/she did not..just kept changing my overall till shuang..then at last then tell me..WTF...ok nevermind..i just cool myself down..then during service when the pastor was talking to me about the guitar thing..he/she also want to interfere..i ask other people help me he/she also want interfere..what's the problem with him/her man..can't he/she just mind his/her own business?WTF...then the pastor's voice sound like his/her..then i pissed lah...kept imagining that he/she kept nagging at me...then i really cannot stand it anymore...after service..i wanted to learn to record disc so next time no need ask him/her to do for me..so asked zm to help me..but in the end,what he do?pushed me to him/her to teach...crap lah..when knowing i hate him/her till like dunno what..then i seriously gonna cry..keep trying to cool myself down..after cell asked michelle and jie to accompany me go outside eat...when reached 1st floor..cannot control le...cried out..so malu..then go eat..then after crying out feel better..then go back church..freaking pissed..slept for a while..then go to the GDOP..ok..talked to other people about it..but maybe no one really understand my situation cause they not in my shoes..ok..had a great worship at the GDOP(chinese)..then almost slept through the whole session..very tired..then went leisure park to eat with shuilin,michelle,jie..then go home..haiz..very sad..had a sudden moment of going to l**** c*****..felt that i am being forced...

ok..today was the most day for me..woke up at 9..then called jie..then discussed about her F&N..is like for her O levels then she like dun care liddat..dunno is i taking or she taking..then after that met her at tamp inter then we go to griffith pri there to eat chicken rice but today never open..sad sia...but still ok lah..talked about alot of things..then go shing song buy her ingredients for the food then go ziting's house cook..we did muffins..pasta...brownies...lols..was having a fun time there..have not had so much fun with them already..i mean like now i can only find joy when talking to them lah..lols..baking was fun..haha..then cook till dinno what time..haha..jie told me alot of things when going home then ya lor..sad..but cheer up jie!!!haha..tomorrow going ice cream chef..hope that it will be fun lah..oh ya..and actually going to work de..but my friend tell me last minute no vacancy..sad lah..but it's ok..no matter what..must still praise God..ya..and i believe that He will give me a better job..and He dun want tongues to wag behind me for the sunday service thingy..that's what i think..so ya..i think was God's grace also lah..so ya..thank God for everything i have been through afterall...thank God..

Abba Father i pray that you give ziting strength for her second session of chemotherapy..i pray that she won't be so tired out..Lord..give her strength to overcome all this..nothing is impossible in you Lord..please help her...Lord i bring jie into Your mighty hands..i pray that she has the courage to overcome all this problems that she is facing now..lead her through this period of time when she is the weakest..let her shine in Your glory and not defeated in satan's hand..just bless her Lord..let her cup overflows in Your love..give her things that are more than she can hope or dream of..Lord bless the two sisters of mine..in Your glorious name i pray..Amen..

2008-05-10T17:47:00.000+08:00

this is just crap..total shit lah..i am avoiding duties?oh please..one wants to act till he is so awesome..ya..what if you are good in PA?no one is going to do anything to you right?ask you help me awhile then what..go tell everyone?i know you very good but no need liddat right?please..if given a choice..i wouldn't have asked you to help..are you thinking too highly of yourself?ya..i admit that i not good in PA..but you also no need everything liddat one..if you want to prove that you very good then prove lah..i won't want to go snatch your GLORY with you de..oh please..you helped ppl take over duties like WOW..kind..but when i ask you help me take awhile only..you need to like let everyone know?then?worse..let others kana scolding for nothing..can you please stop that?i really hate it..please stop that i seriously mean..so what if others can take the nonsense that you showing?i cannot..please..ya..someone is behind you to support you..so?big izzit?stop acting kind..

i wish to dig out something to say again..people older than me always have more say..please..EVERYTHING is said by all of you..at home,school,EVERYWHERE...i am not saying that i am wah..so HOLY..but humans are still humans in the end..a president to a beggar...all are HUMANS..no matter what...i think that EVERYONE has a say..even a baby..so..to all those who love to accuse others for things that they never do..please change..thanks in advance..or else you will piss others off easily(not only my view)..so ya..change for goodness sake..you will be so loved by others if you change..but if you still love to WAH...act big lah..act clever lah..ABUSE AUTHORITY or whatever shit..YOU WILL BE SO "LOVED" BY PEOPLE AROUND YOU!!

and to ALL OF YOU..you are just so disappointing..i think so highly of you all but what i get in return?your distrust..and ya..you all know better than me..

but i thank God for sendng these people around me to train me to be so dead to feelings of people..

oh..just got this quote from a brother(was quite pissed with him though).." sticks and rod can break me but words can never hurt me "..try killing me with your words lah..and.." i proof ui that next time i can have the chance to suan u back "..get wait and see..not in PA..will be in other ways..just wait and see..

2008-05-10T07:25:00.000+08:00

exams are finally over..thank God..haiz..things happened..how sad can it be..but i must seriously thanks jie..and thank God for this sister..

to jie:thanks so much..thanks for walking through the maze with me..thanks for being there for me..sorry for letting you waste your time talking through the park with me...is like your test is today then i still like need you to waste so much of your precious time on me..so sorry..but you are the best jie!

ok..let me briefly say what has happened..ok..was with jie yesterday..then used jie's phone sms her..then she replied..then i am like OMT..she replied a stranger's number but not mine..then ok lah..my fault..then aeksd jie go solcd her...then she say she was rtristeecd by her flimay..ok..then i very sad..my fleenig was like tyoed?then go beach walked so long..jie was there with me..then was sad throughout the whole night..was affected then never study bio..but thank God today still ok lah..ya lor..was kind of cheered up by her when she called just now..but ya..when things are not meant for you..it's not meant to be there lah..that's what i can say..cheer up weicong..

2008-05-04T14:58:00.000+08:00

happy day?sad day?omg..yesterday let jie waited for me at t3 for like 3 hours?then i like never even meet her?!?!so sorry for that..after that went bedok to see if i can find her there..then saw my pri school friend..rachael..omg..still as chio as before..my first crush?jk only lah..haiz..called her hse then her mother say she sleeping..sian..my heart is really breaking...

ok..talk about today...was ling ling jie's big day..her marriage with shane ge!!!!morning went to meet ppl but they late..was so angry lah..cause i tot i going to be late then i still rush taxi down..then waited for like 30 mins in formal shirt?so hot?sweating like a pig sia..then saw the lastest strolling..wha lao..9 dollars sia...ok..then went to church..go through the ceremony..saw how blissful the couple are...so sweet..is like then i keep wanting to marry immediately..lols..so INSPIRED by them that i decided to go work hard for my grand grand wedding..haha..st andrew's cathedral!then eat le go church..haha...had quite a fun time with jia jun and they all..ya..i think i still cannot forget what has happened..sorry..then went to eat dinner at simpang..then go t3 with jie to study..didn't really study lah..but i still thank God for the day..to see church friends getting married..oh ya..was thinking about this just now when walking home..time flies...from the time that shane ge proposed to ling ling jie till now is like WOW..quite long ago..haha..time is precious..but seems useless to me..

2008-05-01T13:18:00.000+08:00

ok..today wasn't a good day for me..it was unlucky..ok..is like i studied my history and A.maths till 2 plus..then i today when taking history..at first everything was fine but when i reached the essay part..my brain just shut down..then i dunno what to write for essay..knowing that i will fail..i was rather sad about it lah..but i know that i still got A.maths so i cannot afford to emo and affect my test..when i opened the test paper..every question are like dunno what sia..damm difficult..then i keep skipping those i dunno then before i could finish the paper..TIME'S UP..wth sia..i think i must thank God if i can get 15/80 le..everyone was stressed out sia..then i was seriously no mood..went to hide at staircase to cry..then went back class..then after school need to run 2.4. for 'narfa'..run like siao then pulled my leg muscle..pain sia..but was grateful to jun wei that he help me applied some sort of cream which was like smelly but he was still willing to help me applied the cream..then went library to rest..then when cheryl passed me my bag..found out that my handphone was LOST..was stolen cause my bag zip is opened lah..my earpiece also lost..then go find teacher..blah blah blah..all the procedures lah..but i thank God..He sent wei yan,jasmine ang/mah,cheryl,oliva there to helped me..cause my leg stll very pain..then i walk very slow..then cheryl and oliva took the trouble to went up to class to see if i left my phone there..then jasmine.m walked me to staffroom to tell miss rathi..then wei yan and jasmine.a go everywhere find then go office help me report..then wei yan and jasmine.a went to guard house to get the smelly lotion to apply on my leg again..is like they one person help me apply one leg..wow..was like so fortunate..they helped me do every single thing i need cause i really like disabled..walk like snail..then when i was feeling better walked to burger king at whitesands..then had a good time chatting with them..though i lost my phone, i got back friendships in return...is like priceless lah..was so thankful to God..though lost phone..but no matter what..i must still praise God..cause He look after me no matter where i am..thank God..anyway..i dun blame anyone for this incident this time..no one is to be blamed..

2008-04-28T14:56:00.000+08:00

STRESSED!!!currently studying history..chiong essays...today was kind of a good day after all...went to church today with the amount..when passed to the owner,i really felt that my burden was take off..really felt 'light' just now..which was good...haha...then service..hm..did not really know what pastor is talking about..haha..then cell..ok lor..just keep saying the iron joke..lols..then did something stupid..was asked to pray for those who wants height..2 brothers in church..why me among so many people in cell?cause they say i got the 'height' anointing..which is like lols..but dunno why after cell go eat with jie they all but i wait till like so damm pissed..really cannot control..feel like scolding people...cause i really need time to study..then qiqin jie never go church then not going burger king then need to go bugis to meet shi min to study..but managed to control afterall then never scold people..went simpang eat noodles..then uncle give me a BOWL of 'zhu you zha'..muahahaha..so happy sia..finished the whole bowl when i know is unhealthy..lols..then after that actually want go bugis de but after discussion..decided to go kallang with jie and shuilin to study..then we like siao..walking from mac to kfc then from kfc to mac..managed to study a bit lah..then went to leisure park..OMG!there got dogs show...so many dogs sia..damm happy..then went to fav shop..airo joy..woohoo..bought alot of brag tags..then jie amd shuilin also got buy things..everyone went home with something..lols..when reach home immediately do history till now..then eat 'shao rou' and 'guan chang'..eat alot of fatty stuff today..must go do exercise le..stomach is going to show le.."and oh FATTY day, FATTY day"..lols..hoping for a better day tml..pray for me..i study till going crazy le..cause no one can help me in situation like now..haha..

Heavenly Father,i hand myself into the mighty hands of Yours..Father please look after my studies and everything around me..and i really hope that nothing will happen in this period of time that will affect my exam..hope after my health Father..bless those around me too..and those who cared and prayed for me the most..thank you Father..in Jesus name i pary,Amen.

2008-04-25T15:55:00.000+08:00

currently,my parents are fighting..for goodness sake who knows what happened...one want to pick the fight then another one want to go fighting together with her..for God knows how long i will be living in this house..fighting over like a phone call?!?!can't people just talk nicely to each another?why people love to go agitate another person then say is another person beat them?what kind of shit is this?because of a phone call,because of a birthday celebration..i was surprised by myself this time i never join in the fight for ONCE..everytime i will go join in the fight but today,i dun think there is any reasons for me to form allies with either sides..both sides are cruel in a sense..and i am also tired of my own life..haiz..just hope that God do some changes in this fighting family or just TAKE ME AWAY FROM THIS IRRITATING HOUSE..pissed by so many things around le still need care about people fighting..what crap..see..in the end..i will still be in the losing end..got help also same,no help also same..wha lao..what kind of life is this man?irritated leh..

anyway..the third teacher talked to me about the problem again..this time is my NPCC officer-in-charge..he is a nice teacher..as in he is really concern about my school life lah..and my studies..he was sort of blaming himself?because he thought the cause was NP..but told him no lah..then he sort of banned me from joining the drill com this year..haha..he wants me to catch up everything during this period of time..as in studies lah..the most important one..

ok..fighting ceased..but now is nagging and maybe banging of things and blah blah blah..seriously cannot tolerate childish adults who fight or quarrel about almost everything under the sun..for goodness sake..grow up and stop all this nonsense..it makes no sense at all!irritating b**** and b******...shall stop here..or else before i know,i will be nagged for using com..

2008-04-25T11:19:00.000+08:00

phew..the big rock in my mind was finally moved away just now...i tried my best to keep myself awake le..though i still abit sleepy at the middle of the 3 period of bio..but managed to wake myself up..praise the Lord..continuing from the previous post about the sch matter..today had a better understanding of the matter..the sch will call parents if not wrong but i think is because they will be monitoring me closely..so it's ok lah..cause it won't be a threat to me!i already promised God to study well for the MYE..so why should i be scared of?

after school went to loyang point with renee,clar and jasmine for their contacts..really have the chong dong to go get a pair of contacts..so cool..gonna buy it..but haha..financial crisis..so no money..but going to work in the hols to earn money for my contacts!so now i going to do my best in the MYE in order for me to go work in the June hols..wanna have coloured contacts..work for it!
I want colour contacts!

Abba Father in heaven,i pray that You will follow me wherever i go to,let my cup overflows in Your love..You are my provider..everything is in You..please love me and let me feel Your presence..let me pass my exams so that i can glorify Your holy name.i will do my very best in this test..God..i know that You will love me more than i can hope or dream of..i hand my life into Your hands my Father in heaven..in Jesus name i pray.Amen

2008-04-24T13:51:00.000+08:00

today wasn't a very good day..was already frustrated in the morning..tried telling myself not to sleep in class anymore..but was still sleepy lah..cannot really concentrate well..but manage to catch some points..after school saw miss toh..then she asked me to buck up in my studies..then say my parents will be called to school..(was heard that today's teachers' meeting every pupil in sec3 was discussed by all the sec3 teachers..and those who has done badly for whatever things in school,parents will be called to sch)at that moment,really wanted to just jump off a building to end my life..i just find life pointless to me..is like a few days ago i just told myself that i will really go study well and not play already but today i was really pull down again..my faith is like thrown from the 20th storey to the ground floor..called jie and told her..was really looking for someone to talk to..so when i went my friend's hse i wanted to chat through msn with a brother..but he told me he tired..haiz..no one to let me talk to..sad for me..but i give thanks to the Lord for i still kind of managed to stand up a bit..left my friend's hse at about 2030..

on my way home i gave one of my xiaomei a call..her life isn't very smooth lately..talked to her for the whole journey back home..hope that she understand lah..when i was talking to her..i wasn't feeling very good cause i think that we both went through almost the same matters..hope that i can learn what i told her too..today was really a sad day..hope that tomorrow will be a better day..

2008-04-23T13:27:00.000+08:00

today miss mariana(maths teacher) cannot stand it anymore then ask me go out of class then tell me she wants to talk to me..kana scolded by her.cause everytime when i sleep in class thren she will be like 'weicong wake up'then today she scolded me lah..then say if i want sleep in her lesson then dun go attend her lesson..ok..she is really pissed off by me..haha..something really funny happened in sch today..ok..we are like having our history class test today..then i yesterday never study mah..then i today go sch chiong lor..then everywhere i go before history class i talked abt the Tsar's monarchy..so when my classmates and i were waiting outside AVA for history teacher to come,caselyn suddenly asked michael a question "where's the Tsar's winter palace?"(there is really winter palace)so michael dunno tell her what then replied"you know hor,the Tsar not only had winter palace but he also had summer palace,spring palace and autumn palace..."then caselyn was like"izzit?"then michael go tell her"cause hor..the Tsar wen to different palace to stay during different seasons"lols..ok..it's really stupid..then to continue this JOKE,i go tell her.."actually there's a HOLY MONDAY after Bloody Sunday..they named it holy monday to mourn for people who died on bloody sunday"then everyone there was laughing..lols..then after that before the test i did tell her that i was joking with her..haha..then when we returned to class,i go joked with her then asked her,"so did you write holy monday?"then she's like "ya.."then i laughed like dunno what then when i tell the history students,all of them laughed..then caselyn laughed till cry then keep saying wha lao..lols..then after that i go ask her how she write then she tell me she forget about bloody sunday then she go write.."hundreds of people died on Bloody Sunday..thus,on the following day,the citizens CELEBRATED the death of the people who died on Bloody Sunday and named the day Holy Monday."hahahahahaha..it was seriously funny sia..i mean like..she say got study but it's obvious she did not study cause she still tell me she was about to write about the season palace story..lols..then i am like if she write about the winter palace thing..it will be like.."it was winter at that point of time so the Tsar was living in the winter palace.."haha..i think i will kana scolded by my history teacher for sure..but i think maybe he will go write in caselyn paper or just ask her"caselyn,are you trying to be funny to me?"ok..i think i very bad..this test is counted as level test then got percentage in SA..then i still laughed at her..so funny lah..but seriously,sorry caselyn for telling you holy monday..then my friend was like why didn't you tell her good friday..lols..i was about to tell her sabbath tuesday one sia(sabbath should be on sunday)..phew that i did not say..or else i think she will also write down one..

after school went downtown to eat..went to E-hub first..it was really an awesome place..now want go watch movie just cross a road can le..no need go tamp liao..haha..so nice..and got pasta mania also..woohoo!had a good 'bonding' session with jia hui and yun han they all lah..they are just friends that are worth having..so nice to talk to..haha..and not forgetting miss burnt hair..haha..then when back sch actually want study and do homework de but in the end played 'dai-di' with classmates..haha..

then after that went to meet qi qin jie then she taught me about physics lah..lols..had a fun time joking with her..then spent about 1 half hours studying..lols..eyes were really closing le..then qi qin jie keep asking me to wake up..then worst thing is still need go church to meet the da shao ye to take something..but in the end he at simei..so haapy sia..cause qi qin jie also alighting at simei then she pei me go look for him at sakae sushi..then go take money with him..then after that walked qi qin jie halfway home.haha..then when home..waited bus for like half an hour..haha..but today was really a funny day(:

2008-04-16T14:08:00.000+08:00

today was an 'adventurous' day for me..hmm..sounds stupid but my worksheet was tore up by my ss teacher who always shooting me..like what crap..then i need to go copy the worksheet out again..ok lah.i mean i do in her lesson but she dun need liddat one mah..sad..then today got NPCC..ok..was rather excited cause first time being an NCO lah..was actually only a campcraft member only..but today alot of them training for speech day then i need to take over as an IC..was pissed by the sec 1s lah..do everything like snail..but was bit stupid lah..everyone's like 'weicong sir' like wow that kinda thing..did checking all this blah blah blah..then when changing from NP uni to sch uni that time..i dropped my 10 dollars then he picked up the money then told him was mine then he dun believe then keep saying that i lying or whatever crap lah..then nco debrief session..was chided..think that there's more to come..sian..hmm..tml still need follow shenghong to beach road to buy np stuff..haiz..yesterday was a stupid day?after school when for dry shoot with prcs..nasuha saddest sia..the only girl cause me her and michael when to join prcs for their shooting then their cca is all guys de..that makes nasuha the odd one out..then ok lah..shooting was ok..the CI there was like keep teaching me the technique for shooting cause change pistol le..then he say then i stress till sweat like siao..then he is like 'nervous arh?'ok..that was funny of him..then after that walked to eastpoint cause is at the police station at simei..then bought my favourite ice kimo and waffles at daily fresh..then go home..ok..sounds stupid..but seriously is so stupid..my life is really so boring..so dull..no colour is gonna appear in my life!and to that someone..show some respect for others and dun keep making decision for others..it is very irritating..please understand..

2008-04-14T13:48:00.000+08:00

God..please..i am tired..let me find my rest in you Lord..i am really stressed out..i thank you for the ppl you sent to me..ok..not my ears but cui xian jie..i believe i really made her very angry yesterday..i am really sorry..i won't avoid you de..you are just too good to me..haiz..you scolded me for a reason..so no need for a sorry..i am sorry to everyone around me..i dunno why but i am very irritated with the slightest things that happened around me recently..i had no one to talk to...all my ears seems troubled..i dun wish to find anymore new ears..so just wish to say sorry to those who wants to help me..did not want to go church today de..was really God's plan that i arrived at church today..i really had no mood..a church friend asked me what i take church for..haiz..i mean maybe you dun understand what i am going through now?how am i going to stand again when everything around me seems to be wrong...my 3 tracks are all not doing well-family.school,church..nothing seems to be perfect..everything/everyone seems to be going against me..i think maybe this is how God is building me but i am really tired..tired of life?maybe..people are struggling to live yet i am thinking of dying..haiz..living is really a big obstacle that eveyone has to face..maybe i dun have that courage to overcome these obstacles..is letting it go a good idea?

reached church at abt 11.30 today..was really late but it's better than nothing..attended worship gathering but my heart was absent..could not focus..after that actually wanted to go to the john little sales but ya..did not manage to go..when was wondering where to go..the church friend i mentioned earlier asked me why i did not attend service,and cell..told him i woke up late..he askwd me whose fault izzit..it's my fault..i will try to wake up earlier..then actually planned to go ziting's hse to play cluedo with her because that time she suddenly sms me telling me she wants to play cluedo..but then did not go her place..went to tm with michelle..talked to her?ya..little lah..then after that went to bedok library to sleep..happy seems to be deleted from my dictionary/my life..haiz..hope that my new week will be a better one..

2008-04-12T15:30:00.000+08:00

enjoyed being an NCO?maybe i finally understand why everytime NCOs shout at cadets when they do things slowly..helped out in the sec 1s checking of their uniforms..it was then that i found out that 2 years just past in such a quick time..when seeing them checking their uniform,i kept thinking of myself 2 years back..sitting there checking the uniforms but now i am the one teaching others to 'prepare' their uniform..2 years..haiz..alot of things happened..how i wish i can go back to 2 years ago..mr chia asked me to go to NPDP..haha..he say if i go for this event then he will go cover the days that i pon np..but then is actually i lead worship de..then the first person in nmind that can help me is my lao jie(shuiting)..so i called her..then really begged her to help me..cause i know is really short time lah..but she helped me lor!so happy..thanks lao jie(:back to topic..haha..the sec 1s are really hard to control..i think i shouted at them?was the bad guy just now..really have the urge to pump them..haha..they took 30 mins to change into NP uniform..was sort of pissed..cause i have no time..i meeting jie at 5.30 at expo mrt..actually wanted to leave school by 3.30 then go home to change clothes then go meet jie de..cause we wanted to go for the concert again but we had no tickets..so was thinking of going early to queue for the free seating de..but the sec 1s really took so long that everything ended at 5.00..then after that CI talked to us..haiz..not easy being an NCO..new role means new responsibility..after everything finished,it was already 6.30...was already late for 1 hour..jie told me that she had took mrt to changi airport then back to tanan merah le..haha..she was seriously pissed..so went directly to meet her..was thinking that we have no tickets le..should also be no seats le..but at this moment when we just join the non-ticket queue,a man walked up to jie and me..then he asked me i izzit no ticket then i need how many tickets..haha..he gave me 2 when i told him sia..for jie and me..then he told me that he was my senior(haising senior)..cause i was wearing the school uniform..haha really thank God lah..He planned everything right from the start..was so happy..then jie started talking to me..i was like damm guilty..haha..saw hui2 they all..actually dun wish to sit with them de..but went to sit with them eventually..really enjoyed the worship session just now..when it end,jie and me were like still want to have a 100 hours praise and worship session..it was really so nice..was really touched to hear planetshakers playing the song 'rain down'..saw haising cell..haha..after the concert they were like shouting my name sia..like so damm loud that everyone turned to look at me..lols..i was like saying thank you to them..lols..after that went to bedok central with jie to eat..haha..saw weixiang and 'gang'..lols..we were like so high sia..like hey..why you here..started asking each other this kind of questions..after eating wanted to take bus 168 de..but the last bus just went..haha..then went to take bus 67 and jie went to take bus 222..then mother called..say what go fetch me..then tell me very fast..insisted to go fetch me..and it took them 30 minutes to go down to bedok..lols..really thank God for today..everything seems planned..which was true..haha(:

2008-04-11T12:11:00.000+08:00

haiz...have you experience when you dun even have a single cent with you for a few days?i seriously been through it..haiz..really broke..and dunno why sia..changing notes with ze ming in the same 'exchange' rate but why i like the more i change,the lesser money i have..sometimes really ask myself..izzit really worth doing things till this far..will others really appreciate what you have done for them?people will just blame you for doing wrong things but they won't praise you for doing good things..for example,the two days i go back to cz to help out but everytime also kana scolded,oh please...the youngest always has the least say in anything..fall out with quite a number of good buddies these few days..hope that i will still be able to stand despite all these setbacks..but the will for living,fighting is really lesser and lesser..

went for the planetshakers concert just now..it's nice..but minutes before the concert starts..i cried upon hearing that my best buddy was diagnosed with cancer..though it is only the second stage,i just kept asking God why must it be her..i kept asking God to let me suffer instead of her..the scene of me and her watching a movie last tues keeps appearing in my mind..i really cannot believe that this is a fact that i have to face..she is such a cheerful person..qiqin jie and jie kept talking to me..and i was able to hand over to God before the concert starts..and when i heard the worship songs..i knew that God is there and i enjoyed myself in the presence of God..