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Monday, 12 May 2008 16:18 haiz..God..how could you have forsaken me?and my "dear" friends out there..God...i am really helpless..lets start from yesterday..ok..i was the soundman for yesterday's service..a friend(maybe i am a nothing to him/her) of mine said that he/she wanna talk to me..i was actually happy..cause i think that he/she is maybe the only one who can talk to the copycat/irritating person..but he/she did not talk to me..this seriously pissed me off..can you please stop making empty promises?and giving others false hope?ok..then reached church at 6.50..no one..so kept singing a song which touched me alot..it goes.... "hope my faith strong let me not fall Father carry me when my walk is a crawl lead me through the rocky terrain help me get back on my feet again on my feet again" ok..then after that was sort of cheered up..cause ton night for not being late..then very sleepy..then was ok de..but after that do PA stuffs...was praying to God that the whole thing will be so damm smooth..but things happened.. 1.something wrong with the recording software 2.the pastor for the day gonna play guitar then is like the PA in charge was so freak out when i added him what to do..sad..then after that heard that the pastor need use his own guitar..i was like OMT..God..what happened?!?!then ok le..when was setting up..this irritating person,was like kept changing my things..i am like ok fine..but please tell me..give me the least respect that a soundman for the day should have..but he/she did not..just kept changing my overall till shuang..then at last then tell me..WTF...ok nevermind..i just cool myself down..then during service when the pastor was talking to me about the guitar thing..he/she also want to interfere..i ask other people help me he/she also want interfere..what's the problem with him/her man..can't he/she just mind his/her own business?WTF...then the pastor's voice sound like his/her..then i pissed lah...kept imagining that he/she kept nagging at me...then i really cannot stand it anymore...after service..i wanted to learn to record disc so next time no need ask him/her to do for me..so asked zm to help me..but in the end,what he do?pushed me to him/her to teach...crap lah..when knowing i hate him/her till like dunno what..then i seriously gonna cry..keep trying to cool myself down..after cell asked michelle and jie to accompany me go outside eat...when reached 1st floor..cannot control le...cried out..so malu..then go eat..then after crying out feel better..then go back church..freaking pissed..slept for a while..then go to the GDOP..ok..talked to other people about it..but maybe no one really understand my situation cause they not in my shoes..ok..had a great worship at the GDOP(chinese)..then almost slept through the whole session..very tired..then went leisure park to eat with shuilin,michelle,jie..then go home..haiz..very sad..had a sudden moment of going to l**** c*****..felt that i am being forced... ok..today was the most day for me..woke up at 9..then called jie..then discussed about her F&N..is like for her O levels then she like dun care liddat..dunno is i taking or she taking..then after that met her at tamp inter then we go to griffith pri there to eat chicken rice but today never open..sad sia...but still ok lah..talked about alot of things..then go shing song buy her ingredients for the food then go ziting's house cook..we did muffins..pasta...brownies...lols..was having a fun time there..have not had so much fun with them already..i mean like now i can only find joy when talking to them lah..lols..baking was fun..haha..then cook till dinno what time..haha..jie told me alot of things when going home then ya lor..sad..but cheer up jie!!!haha..tomorrow going ice cream chef..hope that it will be fun lah..oh ya..and actually going to work de..but my friend tell me last minute no vacancy..sad lah..but it's ok..no matter what..must still praise God..ya..and i believe that He will give me a better job..and He dun want tongues to wag behind me for the sunday service thingy..that's what i think..so ya..i think was God's grace also lah..so ya..thank God for everything i have been through afterall...thank God.. Abba Father i pray that you give ziting strength for her second session of chemotherapy..i pray that she won't be so tired out..Lord..give her strength to overcome all this..nothing is impossible in you Lord..please help her...Lord i bring jie into Your mighty hands..i pray that she has the courage to overcome all this problems that she is facing now..lead her through this period of time when she is the weakest..let her shine in Your glory and not defeated in satan's hand..just bless her Lord..let her cup overflows in Your love..give her things that are more than she can hope or dream of..Lord bless the two sisters of mine..in Your glorious name i pray..Amen.. |
